PS Longer Letter Later
by propertyofjanerizzoli
Summary: Rizzles AU set in 1992. While on vacation with her family and coping with her first broken heart, Jane unexpectedly meets a girl named Maura. After just a couple of days together, Jane returns to Boston and they decide to keep in contact despite the distance between them and the obstacles they must overcome to be together.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've had this plot lurking around in my mind for quite some time now and I was finally able to write it. Please let me know what you think. **

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Jane slammed the phone down onto its receiver and leaned against the wall of the phone booth. There were a couple of teenage girls and an elderly woman outside of the booth, but Jane had no intentions of leaving. She imagined herself ripping the payphone from its setting and smashing it on the ground but at that moment, with a growing line waiting to use the phone, all Jane could do was remain motionless against the wall.

"There's a line," a teenage girl said as she pounded on the door.

"No shit," Jane responded.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" the elderly woman asked when she noticed Jane wipe a tear away with the sleeve of an oversized flannel shirt that she threw on to cover up her bikini.

Not wanting to show any disrespect to the elderly woman by making her wait, Jane exited the phone booth and responded with a soft, "I'm fine, thank you," to her.

But she wasn't fine.

She was on a Rizzoli family vacation at the beach when all she wanted was to lock herself in her room and avoid the outside world for as long as she could.

There were happy couples all around her. They were hand-in-hand as they walked along the board, the girls stealing kisses occasionally. There were teenage guys handing over money they made from their part-time jobs to the men who operated game booths along the boardwalk. Their chances of winning these games were slim, but they played anyway in hopes of proving themselves to the girls they were with. As amused as she was with these teenage guys hoping to win an oversized stuffed animal for girls they called girlfriends or summer flings, Jane knew she would do the same—she _had _done the same—in their situation.

Just a year ago, she had attended a carnival with Tiffany, the girl she had a crush on since junior high. It was their second date and Jane was still in disbelief that the cheerleader had confessed her feelings to her over a late-night phone call. Although Jane was an athlete, she wasn't a member of Tiffany's popular crowd of jocks and cheerleaders. Jane was beautiful, had a great sense of humor, and was _liked _by the popular crowd, but she possessed not even the slightest desire to spend time with any of them except for Tiffany. Tiffany stood out from the rest of the cheerleaders in a way that Jane, in her fifteenth year of life at the time, couldn't quite comprehend. She was pretty, but so were a lot of girls. She wasn't intelligent nor was she a caring person, yet Jane still wanted to spend every moment she possibly could with her.

While at that carnival, Jane played a basketball toss game and won an oversized bear for Tiffany. She spent nearly a week's allowance on that game before she won, but with Tiffany cheering her on the entire time, Jane wasn't about to stop until she won. Once that bear was in her arms, Tiffany became a different person. She held Jane's hand in front of everyone and, while stopped at the top of the ferris wheel, she leaned in closer to Jane and kissed her. It was Jane's first kiss and it forever changed her. She felt a connection not with Tiffany, but with every happy couple at the carnival that day.

They had little in common besides a strong physical attraction, but Tiffany was Jane's first girlfriend and she was blinded by the fact that she had a beautiful girl to call her own and kiss whenever she so desired. Their relationship, however trivial, was the focus of Jane's teenage existence. There may not have been depth, but there were notes passed between classes and make out sessions behind the bleachers after football games while Tiffany was still in her cheerleading uniform. It was one of those very make out sessions that led to Jane losing her virginity in the backseat of Tiffany's car. It wasn't planned, nor did Jane have even the slightest expectation of their relationship becoming sexual so quickly, but there she was—a sophomore—losing her virginity to an eleventh grade varsity cheerleader.

Jane had never romanticized losing her virginity, yet it still wasn't what she thought it would be. It was pleasurable even if there was a little pain at first, but the experience didn't bring her closer to Tiffany. She felt the same toward her. She wasn't in love, but was it lust? Jane decided not to put too much thought into the subject and just enjoy their relationship for what it was, which she did for her entire sophomore year.

Jane rarely saw her girlfriend that summer and, although Tiffany was busy with cheer camp and her loyalties to the squad, she reassured Jane that she was always on her mind. They had a one-year anniversary celebration planned for when Tiffany returned from cheer camp, but it had completely slipped Jane's mind that Tiffany was due to return while she was on vacation with her family. Instead of spending the day with her girlfriend, Jane laid on the sand by herself while her parents ate lunch at a restaurant on the boardwalk and her fourteen-year-old brother Frankie and twelve-year-old brother Tommy picked up on girls. Her mind was consumed by thoughts of Tiffany and what she could have been doing had her parents allowed her to stay in Boston instead of forcing her to go on a family vacation. Assuming that hearing her girlfriend's voice would ease her mind, Jane got up from the sand and went in search of the nearest payphone.

After her phone conversation with Tiffany, Jane knew she had to clear her mind, but first she had to get away from happy couples—from everybody. There were people all over the boardwalk, so Jane continued to walk until she found a secluded spot. With every step she took, she thought about Tiffany and what she hoped would be their final conversation.

"_I miss you," Jane said after they had exchanged greetings. She waited for the obligatory 'I miss you, too,' but when Tiffany became hesitant to speak, Jane knew something was wrong._

"_Jane, I met somebody at cheer camp," Tiffany confessed in hopes that Jane would understand, but Jane was so relieved to hear her voice that Tiffany's words didn't completely register._

"_Isn't that what you're supposed to do?" Jane asked. "You went there to meet other cheerleaders from different schools."_

"_Jane, baby, I…"_

_Her girlfriend's confession finally registered and Jane felt as if her world had come crashing down. "You met somebody," she said matter-of-factly. "Did you kiss her?"_

"_I'm sorry," Tiffany sobbed._

"_You kissed another girl?" Jane asked in disbelief. "Did you do other stuff with her?"_

_Tiffany paused and, although she didn't confess, her silence was all Jane needed. "Jane, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I love you so much, babe. I made a stupid mistake and I won't do it ever again."_

Jane's only response was to hang up the phone. Her girlfriend had cheated on her, but what hurt the most was Tiffany having the audacity to ask for her forgiveness. She might have been able to forgive her for kissing another girl in the heat of the moment, but forgiving her girlfriend for having sex with another girl was out of the question. Jane was finished with Tiffany, but she was far from finished with the emotions that came with having her heart broken for the first time.

She wanted nothing more than to be alone, but the sound of a girl crying under the boardwalk caught her off guard.


	2. Chapter 2

When Jane first saw the girl, she was sitting on the sand and sobbing with her head between her knees. She knew absolutely nothing about this girl and she had problems of her own that she was facing, but there was something about this girl that captivated Jane. Unlike Jane, this girl had no intentions of taking the focus off of her problems. She wasn't walking around the boardwalk like Jane had attempted or trying to fill a void with material possessions like so many others. The girl sitting a mere fifteen feet away from Jane had broken down. The more Jane looked at her, the more her head became filled with scenarios and possibilities as to why this girl was crying. Did she have an argument with a friend? Had her boyfriend broken up with her? The more Jane stared, the more she realized it was most likely the latter. Although Tiffany had broken up with her, Jane just couldn't imagine herself sobbing the way this girl was. Her sobbing was the sound of a person who had truly lost something.

When the tide rushed in, Jane noticed the girl remained in position with her head still in between her knees, although she had begun to wiggle her toes in the newly soaked sand.

The girl cleared her throat and Jane felt herself become nervous about hearing her speak for the first time. "You've been watching me."

She had finally caught a glimpse of her face.

Just as Jane had dreaded, the crying girl was beautiful. There, in the sand, was a damsel in distress and Jane wanted nothing more than to be her hero. "I was checking to see if you were okay."

The girl began to run her fingers along the sand. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine."

"I'm fine," she insisted. "I appreciate you checking on me. You can leave now."

Jane wasn't sure if she had meant to be rude or it was just her personality. Either way, she was going to stand her ground. "I'm not leaving a sobbing girl by herself. You don't have to talk to me. You don't even have to look at me, but I'm not going to leave you alone here when there's a chance that someone or something could hurt you."

"Maura," the girl mumbled.

"What?"

"My name is Maura," she repeated, slightly more audible.

Jane sat down in the sand no less than five feet away from her. She now knew the girl's name. Jane had overcome the first obstacle and she wasn't going to test her limits. "Jane," she responded, suddenly unable to face Maura.

"Why are you here?" Maura asked, her finger now drawing a heart in the sand.

"Parents," Jane shrugged. "You?"

"I'm also with my parents," Maura replied. It dawned on Jane that this girl was far more interested in the hearts she was drawing instead of their conversation—if it could be considered a conversation.

"They drag you here, too?" Jane quipped. She wasn't sure if joking was the proper route to take with this girl, but at that moment she had nothing to lose.

Maura quickly turned her head to face her. "Drag me?"

_Jane, what have you gotten yourself into? _"Drag," Jane repeated. "Did they force you to go on vacation?"

"No," Maura shook her head.

There was now no common ground. Jane had hoped she'd say yes and the two of them could swap embarrassing stories about their parents or, at the very least, complain about having to take a family vacation. She'd have to take a different route. "How old are you?"

"Fifteen."

"I'm sixteen," Jane informed her, although Maura hadn't asked. During their awkward silence, Jane began to play with the cuffs on her shirt. She had wanted to find out why Maura was crying, but all she could think of were ways to engage her in small talk. "Do you miss your boyfriend?"

"I no longer have one," Maura responded. The sound of the word 'boyfriend' didn't drive her to tears, so Jane had a feeling she wasn't crying because of a breakup. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No," Jane shook her head. The word boyfriend and Jane Rizzoli didn't exactly mix and, although Jane wasn't out to her family or anyone other than Tiffany, she found herself able to divulge this information to Maura. "I have a girlfriend. No, I _had _a girlfriend. She cheated on me."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It happens," Jane shrugged. She wasn't sure why, but she found herself wanting to be strong for this girl. "Why did you and your boyfriend break up?"

Maura wiped out the hearts she had drawn. "I'm not comfortable sharing that information."

"Sorry," Jane mumbled.

"It's not you," Maura reassured her. "I've never shared the details of our breakup with anybody."

"Let alone somebody you'll never see again," Jane added.

Maura turned to her for the second time since their conversation began. "I'd like to see you again."

"Why?" Jane asked in disbelief. "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It just didn't seem as if you wanted to talk to me."

"Not about him or why I'm crying," Maura pointed out. "You're very kind, Jane. Not many people would have stopped, but you did. Not many people would have stayed either. I'm due to meet my parents for dinner and I'd like to shower before. Will you meet me here tomorrow?"

"How about tomorrow at noon?" Jane asked. "We could ride the rollercoaster." _The rollercoaster? Really? Grab some lunch or ice cream instead._

"Why don't we go to a café?" Maura suggested and, in that moment, Jane silently chastised herself yet again for seeming so juvenile.

After deciding which café they'd be going to, Jane and Maura went their separate ways. Jane had a feeling tomorrow's outing would mean nothing more to Maura than a way to keep herself occupied while on vacation, but all of that changed when she saw Maura smile at her.

Jane was going through a breakup—as was Maura—but there was something about Maura's reaction that disturbed her. Maura had been given a free pass to say anything negative that she wanted to say about her ex-boyfriend, yet she chose not to offer even the slightest detail about him or their relationship. _What did he do to her? _Jane thought as she walked back to the hotel.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for your comments. This chapter is a bit longer than the others, but I hope that's okay. It's also a little darker. I hope that's okay, too. :)**

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Jane put the finishing touches on her ensemble before she glanced at herself in the mirror. What she decided to wear wasn't special, but denim shorts and tank tops were the extent of her vacation wardrobe, except for the old flannel shirt she brought in case it was cold or to wear as a cover up when she was in her bikini. Jane's makeup was minimal—nothing more than mascara and lip balm. Her curls were more unruly than usual, so she gathered her hair into a ponytail. Ponytails were her fallback hairstyle, but something about it didn't seem right. _What's wrong with you? She's straight and you're both vulnerable right now. This is just hanging out. She thinks you're nice. She's not attracted to you. It doesn't matter what you look like._

Her pep talk—or lack thereof—was far from useful. Jane took her rubber band off and let her hair fall before gathering it into a ponytail and repeating the process time and time again. Down. Ponytail. Down. Ponytail. Down. She took one final glance at herself before she decided to leave her hair down and shove the rubber band in her pocket just in case she changed her mind later.

When Jane arrived at their designated meeting spot, she was surprised to find Maura already waiting for her. She looked even more beautiful than before, Jane decided. _So this is how she looks when she isn't crying. _The yellow hues in her dress accented her golden hair and, although Jane cared little for fashion, she was enamored by the details of Maura's dress—the delicate fabric, the stitching on the bodice—details she'd never notice if the dress had been worn by any girl besides Maura.

Jane had wanted to be suave, but there was something about this girl that made her feel completely dismantled. "Are you feeling better today?"

"No," Maura shook her head. "I appreciate you asking, but I'm not going to feel better. All I can do is distract myself."

Jane wanted to ask why, but she had only known Maura or, more appropriately, she had _known of _Maura for less than twenty-four hours. "I know the perfect distraction."

Maura leaned ever so slightly closer to Jane. "Do you?" She was intrigued. Jane's crying girl was finally intrigued.

"Have you ever been on the rollercoaster here?"

"What's your fascination with the rollercoaster?" Maura smirked.

Jane averted her eyes. There were reasons why she wanted to ride the rollercoaster that went beyond the fact that it was the most popular thrill ride at the pier, but she paused as she figured how to say that to Maura without sounding overly sentimental. "Nothing, really."

"We've spoken for a total of twenty minutes and this is the second time you've mentioned it."

"It makes me feel like I'm flying," Jane said nonchalantly. It _did _make her feel as if she was flying, but that wasn't why she enjoyed it so much. The rollercoaster reminded her of a simpler time in her life—before she was interested in girls and before she knew her heart could break. The entire Rizzoli family would ride that rollercoaster together. Her parents would share a row of seats behind Tommy and Frankie and Jane, the daredevil in the family, would ride at the very front all by herself. If that rollercoaster could take Jane back to a simpler time in her life, she had a feeling it might be able to help Maura as well.

"I've ridden it before," Maura began. "I felt as if I was going to fly into the ocean. It was…fun."

"Don't you want to experience that again?" Jane asked. "We can play some games after and when we get hungry we can go to a café."

"I can't. Jane, please. I just can't."

"Maura," Jane groaned. "We're both on vacation and we both got dumped by people who don't deserve us." She began to use a more playful tone. "Are you a wuss?"

Maura looked directly at her without any expression on her face. "Riding a rollercoaster might lead to placental abruption."

"What?"

"Placental abruption is a premature separation of the placenta from the wall of the uterus," Maura said matter-of-factly.

"You're—"

"I'm pregnant," Maura interrupted.

Jane knew she should say something, but she had no clue what to say. She had just met Maura and she knew absolutely nothing about her home life or _any _aspect of her life and she doubted that Maura would willingly offer her this information.

Jane's mind became occupied with what might lie ahead for Maura. Although teen pregnancy had become a topic that was more widely discussed than in previous generations, pregnant teenagers still faced so much shame and embarrassment. Jane knew of a girl a year ahead of her in school who had gotten pregnant and she was forced to attend a continuation school. No responsibility was placed on the boy who had impregnated her, but the girl was looked down upon and treated as if she was at fault. Jane had only been acquainted with Maura for a short period of time, but she already knew she couldn't bear for Maura to face a similar fate.

"I took a home pregnancy test yesterday and it was positive."

"Those aren't always accurate," Jane said in a vain attempt at offering her some hope.

"I've taken three of them, each on a different day, and all three were positive," Maura pointed out. "I wanted to be tested at my doctor's office, but I'm on my parents' insurance and they'd be notified."

"They don't know?"

"You're the second person I've told," Maura began. "The first person I told was my boyfriend and that's how he became my ex-boyfriend. He said the baby wasn't his, but I've only had sex once and that was with him. He believes it's impossible for a girl to get pregnant the first time she has sex."

"It's not worth it," Jane scoffed.

"What isn't worth it?"

"Sex," Jane responded as she led Maura to a dry area in the sand, so they could comfortably sit down.

"It isn't," Maura agreed. "Not with him. It was consensual, but he wasn't concerned with how much pain I was in. I knew there'd be discomfort, but I felt as if I wasn't physically or emotionally prepared to lose my virginity."

Jane picked up a nearby shell. "It's all so romanticized and we're taught to believe that it'll bring us closer to that person and that they'll always love us, but it's bullshit. My girlfriend's feelings for me didn't change."

"I didn't instantaneously fall in love with him while we had sex," Maura added. "There was no soft music or candles and I didn't have an orgasm. I lost my virginity in between sheets that hadn't been washed in weeks. Instead of soft music, all I heard were his grunts of pleasure in my ear while I closed my eyes and hoped the pain would subside. We had been a couple for eighteen months, but there was no love involved and that didn't change afterward."

"Backseat of her car," Jane mumbled.

"Is that where…"

Jane threw the shell into the water. "Yeah, that's where I lost it. I gave it up to a hot girl in a cheerleading uniform and considered myself lucky until I realized we both wanted more of something the other wasn't willing to give. She wanted more sex and I wanted a girlfriend. I wanted someone who'd hang out with me even if we weren't going to have sex, someone who genuinely cared about me. I deserve better than a girl who goes away to cheer camp and has an affair with another girl."

"You're right. She doesn't deserve you."

Jane suddenly felt selfish about everything she had said about Tiffany and the dynamics of their former relationship. She considered her heartache to be minimal in comparison to what Maura was experiencing. "Maura, I'm sorry."

Maura smiled at her. "Please don't be sorry and there's no need to console me. I've accepted it, Jane. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I've accepted the fact that I'm pregnant. I'm fifteen and there was no birth control available to me besides the condom he must not have used properly."

She wasn't sure where the nerve to do so had come over her, but Jane reached over and cupped Maura's hand with her own. The innocent gesture of touching Maura's hand sent a shiver through Jane. "If this is too forward—"

Maura laced her fingers with Jane's as if to prevent either of them from letting go. "It isn't," Maura interrupted. "I don't want to be alone and I can see that you don't want to be alone either."

Jane knew Maura was trying to be strong, but the moment she noticed the tears start to pool in the corners of Maura's eyes, Jane scooted closer so she could wrap her arms around Maura. Jane wasn't a hugger by any means, but she felt herself drawn to this girl; maybe it was because of their mutual heartache or the fact that they were on vacation and had nothing to lose, Jane wasn't quite sure. All she was sure of was that Maura needed her just as she needed Maura.

Maura rested her head on Jane's shoulder until it was time for them to go their separate ways for dinner. There were no more words spoken between them except for the occasional comment on the weather or the tide, but neither Jane nor Maura minded. They had said all that needed to be said earlier and, after they had made plans to meet again, Maura quickly jotted something on a memo pad and handed the torn sheet of paper to Jane with instructions for her not to read it until they were out of sight from each other.

When Jane could no longer see Maura in the distance, she glanced at the paper she was holding in her hand. "_I wish I were a girl who deserved you."_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you for your comments and continued support. Your feedback absolutely makes my day.**

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Maura's note consisted of one sentence—nine words—but those nine words kept Jane awake at night. Jane already knew such intimate details of her life like how she had lost her virginity and the pregnancy that resulted from it, but she wondered if Maura confided in her because there was something about her that Maura found trustworthy or if it was because Maura needed to get that information off her chest and Jane was a perfect confidante because they'd never see each other once they returned to their respective hometowns.

Jane knew intimate details about Maura's life, but the basic facts about her and mundane details about her life were still a mystery. What was her last name? When was her birthday? Was she going to enter the tenth or eleventh grade? Did she get along with her parents or did she argue with them about trivial matters like whether or not she was wearing too much makeup and how loud her music was?

Was Maura a popular girl or did she keep to herself? Jane imagined Maura being a popular girl with a boyfriend on the football team or the basketball team. She and her friends weren't the most popular girls at their school but they were definitely the most popular and sought after girls in their grade. They had sleepovers every Friday and spent every Saturday at the mall—Jane was sure of it.

_She might be like Tiffany. _Tiffany. Just the thought of her made Jane start to cry. She knew she hadn't allowed herself time to heal, but was allowing herself time to heal a way of admitting that Tiffany had gotten the best of her? Her thoughts shifted from Maura to Tiffany. She wondered if Tiffany was crying over her or if she was going to continue seeing the girl she met at cheer camp now that Jane was no longer her girlfriend. She wasn't sure what would happen once she returned to Boston, but all Jane could be certain of was that she wasn't going to be a jaded ex-girlfriend. She wouldn't be friendly, but she'd be civil. She wasn't going to start rumors or try to get even somehow. She'd walk down the halls of her high school with her head held high to show Tiffany that she hadn't broken her.

But she _had _broken her and, because of Tiffany, Jane was starting to question her intentions with Maura. Was Maura just another distraction? Was she so invested in Maura's problems in hopes that they'd help her forget her own or did she sincerely care about this girl? _It's too soon_, Jane concluded. _I can't care about Maura when I don't know her. And why did she write that note? What are her intentions with me?_

Jane couldn't stay in that hotel room another second. Now that the Rizzoli siblings were twelve, fourteen, and sixteen, they were allowed their own hotel room as long as they promised to be on their best behavior. For the most part, they had been on their best behavior, except for when twelve-year-old Tommy tried to order the adult film channel. Frank and Angela received immediate notification from the front desk operator and, although his punishment wasn't severe, Frankie and Jane still got a good laugh out of the whole ordeal. That memory was what made Jane realize she and her brothers were given leeway while on vacation, so she quickly jotted a note to her brothers explaining her whereabouts and left the premises.

It was just before midnight, so the boardwalk was filled with the twenty-one and over crowd who were enjoying the nightlife that this tourist destination had to offer. Some were single, some were partnered, but Jane couldn't help noticing that they all looked so happy and were probably having the time of their lives. Jane rejected the advances of two or three drunk, young men she encountered on her walk and, under different circumstances it would have been annoying, but these young men didn't pressure her nor did they use any crude language. All she had to say were the magic words 'I'm sixteen' and they'd immediately leave her alone. As one of them walked away, Jane started to smile when she heard his friends give him a hard time for hitting on an underage girl.

"Robbing the cradle?" she heard one of them say to the guy who had made a pass at Jane.

"Not even," another guy responded. "Maturity-wise, he's the same age as her."

"Don't insult the girl," the first guy added. "Maturity-wise, he's even younger than her."

Their banter made Jane miss her core group of guy friends back home and she wondered if they'd go to bars and enjoy this type of nightlife once they turned twenty-one.

Jane continued to walk along the boardwalk until she caught a glimpse of a young girl leaning against the outside wall of a diner. "Maura? What are you doing here?" There were no hugs or casual greetings. Jane and Maura weren't going to waste time with any formalities.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Neither could I." Jane was looking at her directly and she wished she could come up with something clever or even something pleasant to say, but all she could focus on was how beautiful Maura looked that night. Her makeup was off and she had changed from her dress into a pair of jeans and a sweater, but seeing Maura so casual and so _natural_ enticed Jane more than she'd like to admit. _Should I tell her she looks beautiful? Is that what she needs to hear or is it something she is told so often that the word beautiful no longer holds any meaning for her?_

All words had escaped her, so Jane grabbed Maura's hand and led her away from the excitement and the chaos surrounding the boardwalk. Just as it did that afternoon, holding Maura's hand felt right and judging by the way Maura was smiling, Jane knew it must feel right for her, too.

They were so far from the boardwalk that the only sound they could hear were the gentle crashing of the waves. Had they met under different circumstances, it might have been considered a romantic moment. Instead, Jane and Maura exchanged awkward glances, both uncertain of what was going to happen next.

"You don't need to be my hero."

Jane was taken aback by this sudden realization. Was she trying to be Maura's hero? Did she have such a strong desire to feel needed because Tiffany never needed her? "I know," Jane responded. "I don't need to be anything to you or to any girl. I—"

Without any indication that she was going to do so, Maura pressed her lips to Jane's. Jane reveled in the physical contact Maura had just made with her. Her lips were soft and, unlike Tiffany's, Maura's kisses weren't possessive. She wasn't kissing Jane to prove a point nor did she have any intentions to go further. For the first time in months, Jane was being kissed because a girl so desperately wanted to kiss her.

"You don't need to be, but you are," Maura said as she leaned in to close the gap between their bodies. "You make me feel like a girl instead of a disappointment."

"You're still a girl," Jane reassured her. "You're this incredible girl that I can't stop thinking about."

"You wouldn't say it, but I knew you wanted to kiss me this afternoon. Why didn't you?"

"I don't—I don't know," Jane stammered. "I thought you were straight. I didn't want to take advantage of you. I could list a thousand reasons, but all I can think about right now is how good it feels to hold you this close to me."

"Never assume anything about me," Maura whispered into her ear. Her words made Jane's entire body start to tingle.

"What grade are you in?" Jane asked.

"I'll be starting the eleventh grade in two weeks," Maura responded. Jane knew Maura was going to be suspicious of her questioning, but she needed to learn more about her.

"Where do you live?"

"New York."

"Are you popular?"

"Far from it."

"Is your ex-boyfriend a jock?"

"He's on the lacrosse team."

"What's your last name?"

"Isles."

"When is your birthday?"

"Jane, why are you interrogating me?" Maura asked.

"There's so much I don't know about you," Jane responded. "And I don't kiss girls I don't know."

"You're asking for trivial details about my life," Maura pointed out. "That isn't how you get to know somebody. I didn't want to admit this to you or to myself, but you already know me better than anyone else. I'm usually very reserved and I spend most of my time alone."

She was alone. Jane's mysterious girl was alone. Her assumptions about Maura were wrong; she wasn't popular and she wasn't sought after. Maura was misunderstood and now that she was pregnant she'd be further alienated.

Jane glanced at her watch. "It's getting late. Can I walk you to your hotel?"

"No," Maura shook her head. "I managed to get here by myself and I can return to my hotel room myself."

Jane playfully lifted her up, which caused Maura to squeal with delight. _She's even more beautiful when she's happy_. "I'm not obligated to walk you home," Jane pointed out. "And I'm not trying to be chivalrous. This is just an excuse to spend more time with you. Besides, I'm not letting your feet touch the ground until you say yes."

Maura held out for as long as she could for the sole purpose of seeing how long Jane could keep her feet from touching the ground. "I'm going to say yes, but only because of how much effort you put into this."

They held each other's hands as they walked and Jane tried not to notice Maura stealing the occasional glance at her. "My birthday," Maura reminded her. "You wanted to know my birthday."

"Are you sure it's not too trivial?" Jane teased, but Maura failed to see the humor in what she had just said.

"I've been sixteen for an hour and a half," she informed her.

"Happy birthday," Jane said, although she noticed that Maura wasn't exactly happy.

"Thank you. This just isn't how I pictured it."

"Something else that's overrated," Jane scoffed. "I don't think anyone's sixteenth birthday lives up to their ideal."

"I'm with _someone _ideal," Maura corrected her. "You don't know how much these past two days have meant to me."

Without knowing if she was being out of line, Jane stopped so she could place her hand on Maura's abdomen. "Your ideal person is in here. I'm just a close second."

There was another chaste kiss before they entered the lobby of the hotel where the Isles family was staying. "Can I see you tomorrow?" Maura asked, not wanting to let go of Jane just yet.

"Same time, same place," Jane responded. "Wear something comfortable."

She had piqued her curiosity yet again. "Why?"

"You'll see." When Jane winked at her, Maura couldn't help smiling. _You're doing something right. She's actually smiling._

Jane wasn't sure what Maura's ideal birthday celebration would consist of, but she knew this girl deserved a memorable sweet sixteen. As she walked the quarter of a mile back to her hotel room, her mind was filled with potential activities that she hoped would keep Maura smiling all day.


	5. Chapter 5

Unlike previous family vacations, Frank and Angela no longer gave their daughter a thorough questioning about her whereabouts. Jane was a single, sixteen-year-old girl and, as far as they were concerned, she had met a guy and was spending all of her time with him. Angela was thrilled by the possibility of Jane having a summer romance, but Frank—being the protective father of a teenage daughter—didn't want any guys putting their hands on his little girl. They were right about Jane having a summer romance, but Jane had no intentions of telling them that the person she was sneaking off to see was a girl.

After a brief, 'I'm going out. I'll see you guys at dinner,' Jane grabbed her wallet and placed it securely in her back pocket before making her way to their designated meeting place as quickly as she could.

When she instructed Maura to wear comfortable clothing, she had expected her to wear some shorts or jeans and a t-shirt, but Maura was waiting for her in a dress similar to the sundress she had worn the day before.

"Are these your comfortable clothes?" Jane asked as she quickened her pace toward Maura.

"Dresses are all I feel comfortable in," Maura pointed out. "I'm not showing yet and I won't be for awhile, but my jeans are very confining."

It suddenly dawned on Jane that Maura's body was changing. Unlike the normal changes that girls their age were experiencing, Maura's body was changing at an accelerated pace and what was comfortable clothing for her might not be comfortable for Maura. "I'm sorry."

Jane noticed the tears pooling in Maura's eyes. "Don't be sorry. This has nothing to do with you and you've been nothing but nice to me. I have to keep reminding myself that the complications with my hormones and my changing body have nothing to do with puberty. For the first time, I don't know what to expect from my body. There are already so many changes. My jeans are confining. I've already grown an entire cup size. My mother took me bra shopping two days ago at a nearby department store and she told me not to worry about the changes happening to my body because I'm developing from a girl into a woman and all of this is normal. I wanted to tell her what's happening to me isn't normal, but I'm too afraid of how she'll react. I'm just so tired, Jane. I want to feel like me again, but I'm never going to be who I was."

Jane couldn't even fathom what was happening to Maura and the fear she was experiencing, but she knew Maura was special to her and she would do just about anything to comfort her. "Come here." She watched as Maura showed no hesitation to hug her and rest her head on her shoulder. Holding Maura so closely was having an effect on Jane that she couldn't quite understand. Her desire to hold Maura was far greater than her desire to hold Tiffany ever had been and even that couldn't compare to kissing Maura. When her lips touched Maura's, Jane felt a tingling sensation throughout her entire body. She wanted to know if Maura felt it, too, but it was a question she dared not ask. "We don't have to do anything. If you're tired, we can go to your room…but not for…Maura, I'm sorry. I don't want you to think I'm trying to—I mean, I want to—but—"

"Jane," Maura interrupted. "Has anyone ever told you how cute you are when you're flustered?"

Maura had said she was cute. It was enough to make Jane become even more flustered than before. "No."

"Then allow me to be the first," Maura began. "Jane, you are very cute when you're flustered and, if I could change anything about my life, I'd have lost my virginity to you instead of him. I wouldn't have lost it to you right away, but I would have waited until you and I were both ready."

"Instead, we're both vulnerable and have no idea what we're doing," Jane said glumly. "But something good came out of you being with him. Soon, you're going to have Baby Isles. Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"Let's not talk about Baby Isles," Maura insisted. "I don't know if there's going to be a Baby Isles."

"What do you mean?"

"Jane—"

"No," Jane interrupted. "What do you mean you don't know if there's going to be a Baby Isles?"

Maura removed herself from Jane's embrace, so she could look directly at her. "I have three options and I need to weigh these options before I make a decision. I could be a teenage mother, I could give the baby up for adoption, or I could—"

"Or you could terminate your pregnancy," Jane sighed. "I know."

"What did you think, Jane?" Maura asked. "Did you think this was going to be like playing house? Even if I do want to keep my baby, it's ultimately my parents' decision. I'm sixteen and they have more rights over my body than I do."

"I care about you so much," Jane admitted. "And I respect you, which also means I'll respect and support any decision you make. It's your body and only you could decide. Don't let anyone influence you even when it comes to what you should do for your birthday."

_Even conflict resolution is easier with her,_ Jane thought as Maura kissed her. "My vote is for teenage normalcy."

"Teenage normalcy," Jane agreed. "Should I race you to the boardwalk?"

"I'm in sandals," Maura pointed out, but Jane had already taken off. "Jane! Jane! You didn't even do a countdown!"

But Jane didn't stop until she approached a nearby gift shop. While Maura was chasing after her, Jane quickly grabbed a tiara and asked the cashier if he could bag the item as she was paying for fear of Maura seeing it.

"We got our daily dose of cardio," Jane said as she handed the bag to Maura who had just entered the gift shop.

"What's this?"

Jane raised an eyebrow at her. "It's a _gift_, Maura. You know—a gift—something that people receive on birthdays and special occasions?"

"You're especially sarcastic today."

"You're still learning about me," Jane pointed out. "You'll soon find out my sarcasm knows no boundaries."

Jane had wanted to switch from sarcasm to saying something sweet to Maura, but she noticed that Maura was no longer paying attention to her. Her focus was now on the contents of the bag. "A tiara! A tiara with a '16' on it!" Maura said as she placed it on her own head.

"You're my birthday princess so…" Jane stopped talking the moment she realized what she had just said. "Maura, I'm sorry. That was so lame."

Maura pulled Jane closer to her by the belt loops on her shorts. Jane had never kissed a girl in public, but the fear of being caught no longer mattered to her. At that moment, she was outside a gift shop on a crowded boardwalk being kissed by a girl she couldn't get enough of. "I'll always be your princess, Jane."

"Wow," Jane smiled. "That was even cheesier than my line."

"No," Maura scoffed.

"We're both lame," Jane teased. "But I have another surprise for you."

Jane had phoned ahead that morning and ordered a chocolate chip cookie cake just for Maura. Although it had cost extra to personalize the cake, Jane was willing to spend whatever price they asked for to have the words, 'Happy 16th birthday, Maura' written on the cake. It was money Jane had intended to use for her anniversary with Tiffany, but she was now spending it on a girl she considered even more deserving.

The moment Maura walked into the diner, she noticed a table had been set aside for the two of them with the cookie cake and balloons on the table. "Jane," Maura gasped. "You didn't have to. This is all so sweet."

"You're my princess," Jane reminded her. "And I told you I'd give you a memorable birthday."

Before cutting the cake, Maura brought her camera out and started to take pictures of the cake, the place setting, the two of them—everything about that moment. "I'm going to need these," Maura began. "They're proof that this day existed and you exist and I can be happy for once in my life."

For the first time, Jane was speechless. She was well aware of her feelings for Maura, but now she knew it was mutual. Maura, her perfect girl, was feeling such a strong connection with her and they were both dreading the inevitable separation. _Don't think about that. Enjoy her birthday and tomorrow with her._

Jane and Maura finished the entire cookie cake by themselves before deciding to return to the boardwalk for some games. As they walked hand-in-hand, Jane couldn't stop smiling at the very sight of Maura. She had a tiara on her head and a couple of pink balloons in her other hand. She looked so young and innocent. As far as Jane was concerned, she was _still _young and innocent, but she knew nobody would agree with her if they knew Maura's secret.

"Can we play the basketball game?" Maura asked excitedly.

"You mean can _I _play the basketball game and win something for you?"

"Exactly," Maura agreed. "I want those kissing teddy bears."

Jane expected the odds to be against her, but she won a pair of kissing teddy bears for Maura on her second try. The game had cost her six dollars, bringing the overall cost of Maura's birthday celebration to forty dollars, but it was worth it if it meant seeing Maura smile. Her seventeenth birthday was going to be different. Either Baby Isles would be with her or she'd be coping with giving him or her up. Regardless, Maura's life was about to change drastically and Jane was willing to do just about anything to give her a few more days of normalcy and stability.

"I'm naming the one in shorts and a t-shirt after you," Maura informed her as they were making their way back to their original meeting spot. "Her name is Jane and the one in the dress is named Maura. I don't like the idea of naming a bear after myself, but they're kissing bears and Jane bear shouldn't be kissing anyone other than Maura bear."

"I think this goes beyond Jane bear and Maura bear," Jane teased. "I think you're talking about human Jane and human Maura."

"Was I that obvious?"

Jane leaned in to steal a kiss on the cheek. "You were beyond obvious, but you have nothing to worry about. There's no other girl in this world I want to kiss other than you…and maybe that hot girl standing over there."

"Jane!"

"Kidding, just kidding," Jane quickly said before an argument could begin. "Just like your bears have magnets in their lips, I think you have magnets on yours because I feel like I just have to kiss you right now." After giving Maura a quick peck on the lips, she leaned in to kiss her yet again. "And I have to kiss you again. And again." She said in between kisses.

Maura had suddenly become nervous. "I like you, Jane."

"I like you, too," Jane responded. "I have an idea. Why don't we have a picnic tomorrow?"

"I…I can't," Maura hesitated.

"Why? Are you hanging out with your parents?" Jane asked. "If you are, we could do something later."

"Jane, I'm leaving tonight," Maura blurted out.

"You're leaving?" Jane asked in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me? You lied to me, Maura."

"I didn't lie to you. I just withheld that detail," Maura corrected her. "Jane, I wanted to tell you, but would you have had any fun today if I had?"

"I don't know," Jane moped. "Either way, you're leaving. My dream girl is leaving."

"I'm your dream girl?" Maura briefly blushed before coming back to reality. "Jane, I'm sorry. This doesn't have to be the end. We could write to each other and call each other. Boston and New York aren't that far apart. We were going to part ways eventually, Jane."

"Neither of us is going to do any travelling any time soon," Jane pointed out. "You're pregnant, so you won't be travelling to Boston. And what about school and homework? Do you really think we could keep some long distance relationship going? Get real, Maura." Jane wondered what had just come over her, but she was too upset to apologize even when she saw how hurt Maura looked.

"Jane, I _am _real. All I'm asking is for you not to give up on us." She tore a page out of her address book and wrote her address and phone number for Jane. "This is how you can contact me. Please call me or write to me whenever you want, but if you don't I'll understand."

Jane took the paper without saying a single word to her. _She used me. She used me to help herself feel better._

"I'm your princess, Jane. Remember?" Maura waited for a response from Jane, but when Jane stood there in silence, Maura kissed her on the cheek and left.

The tears were flowing from Jane's eyes and the more she wiped them, the more they seemed to appear. _It's not her fault she has to leave. You can't stop her from leaving, but you can stop her from leaving this way. _With that in mind, Jane ran to catch up with Maura. Her heart broke all over again when she saw that Maura had also started to cry.

"Be my girl?"

"What?" Maura asked.

"Be my girl," Jane repeated.

"But you said we were vulnerable," Maura brought to her attention. "What about Tiffany? What about Baby Isles? I'm not going to look like this for long, Jane, and what if I decide to keep my baby and—"

Jane playfully lifted her up. "I don't care about Tiffany. I don't care about seeing her at school and I don't care what anyone else thinks about this happening so quickly. I know what I'm feeling, Maura, and I know that I care about you and Baby Isles is an added bonus. I could be a good girlfriend for you."

"Yes!" Maura beamed. "Yes, I'll be your girl."

Jane had wanted to spin her around, but in Maura's delicate condition, she opted for a brief, not so innocent make out session in the sand. As difficult as it was for them to part ways, they said goodbye to each other on the best of terms. It was the start of a long distance relationship for Jane and Maura, but both girls were willing to give it their all regardless of what was in store for them.


	6. Chapter 6

The second to the last day of the annual Rizzoli family vacation was no different than any other for Frankie and Tommy, but Jane couldn't be happy regardless of how hard she tried. She watched as Tommy attempted to ride the waves on a rented surfboard. It was his first time surfing and he wasn't any good at it, but his inability to surf as well as other surfers in the water didn't bother him in the slightest bit because he was trying something new and enjoying every moment of it. Her brother was happy and Jane _envied _that happiness. Her eyes shifted to Frankie who was playing a one-on-one game of beach volleyball with a girl he had just met a couple of hours prior—or at least she thought he had just met her. Jane had been so preoccupied with figuring out Maura's secret and then planning Maura's birthday that she had failed to spend time with her brothers and talk about their vacation experiences. As guilty as she felt for not spending time with her family, she knew it was worth it because had she not strayed from them that fateful day she would have never met Maura. Maura. Just the thought of her made Jane start to smile until she remembered they were now in two different states.

She began to wonder what Maura was doing at that exact moment. Had she arrived at home yet or was she still traveling? Did her morning sickness act up while she was in the car? If so, were her parents suspicious? Jane had imagined the long drive home would be the perfect opportunity for Maura to tell her parents she was pregnant, but she knew nothing about the Isles family dynamic. She didn't know if Mr. and Mrs. Isles would be accepting of their daughter's pregnancy and she remembered that not even Maura knew if her parents would accept her. _What if her parents disown her or send her to live with a relative in another state until the baby is born because they're so ashamed? _

The subject of disownment gave Jane a pain in the pit of her stomach. Her parents knew nothing of who she really was. Mr. and Mrs. Rizzoli saw Jane as their tomboy, their little Janie, their sarcastic daughter—nothing more than labels she had been given when she was a child. They knew her favorite foods, her bad habits, and her favorite sports teams, but to Jane it was all so trivial. They knew nothing of who she really was and what her world at age sixteen consisted of. They didn't know her future career path, who her friends were, and they especially didn't know that her heart had been broken and then mended during their family vacation. Jane knew she was partly to blame—she hadn't let them into her world, but they hadn't exactly asked to be a part of it either. Her mother wanted her to wear dresses and talk endlessly about guys, but that had never been Jane and that was never going to be Jane. There were times she wanted to come out to them, but she feared the repercussions. Would they disown her, would they say something like 'it's okay as long as you don't act on it,' or would they hope it was all just a phase? Jane hoped for acceptance and, although her brothers would probably accept her, Jane doubted any acceptance from her parents.

All Jane wanted was to be good enough for her parents as the girl she truly was and not the girl she had once been. The more Jane focused on her changing relationship with her parents and the distance between her and her new girlfriend, the more she felt as if she were going to cry.

Jane stood up and gathered her belongings. "I'm going back to the hotel room."

"You're staying right here," Angela insisted. "You lock yourself in your room everyday. I'm not letting you do that on vacation."

"I think I'm going to start my period." It was a lie, but that lie served as the perfect scapegoat. Jane's menstrual cycle was a subject Frank didn't want to hear about, so she knew she'd immediately be excused.

With her brothers preoccupied with surfing and girls, Jane knew she'd have the room to herself for at least another two hours. She hadn't expected to write someone a letter while on vacation, nor did she own any stationery at home, so she made a quick stop at the mini mart near the hotel for some paper, an envelope, and a stamp so she'd be able to send the letter in the mail before the final designated pick-up time of the day. She had thought about calling Maura on the phone, but there was still a chance that Maura either wouldn't be home or would be too tired to have a phone conversation.

_August 7, 1992_

_Dear Maura,_

_While my family was sleeping this morning, I went over to our spot. A part of me expected you to be there and I didn't want to admit this to you but I actually waited to see if you'd show up. This place isn't the same without you here and it'll never be the same now that I've met you. I'm hoping it'll hurt less when I return to Boston and busy myself with school and practice and my lame job, but I don't think it will. _

_I can't believe you're in New York right now (or at least you will be when you receive this). A part of me worries that it'll be weeks maybe even months until we see each other again and, as much as it hurts, I know everything will be worth it. I liked you so much in such a short period of time and that has to count for something. _

_There's so much I want to know about you and it's all probably things I'd take for granted when it comes to any other girl. Are you reading this in your room? If you are, what does it look like? Don't reveal it to me in a picture. That's too easy. I want you to describe it in your own words. What's your neighborhood like? Do you like living in New York? Have you ever lived anywhere else?_

_I hope you're feeling well. I'm sorry this letter is so short, but I'm really bad at this whole letter-writing thing. I miss you already, Maura, and I think about you all the time. _

_Your girlfriend,_

_Jane_

_P.S. I promise to have something interesting to say in my next letter._

When the letter was finished, Jane sprayed it with her perfume and dropped it off at the nearest mailbox. Her letter would soon be on its way to New York, but the thought of that did nothing to ease Jane's mind. Her girlfriend was in another state and all she wanted was to feel her in her arms once again.


	7. Chapter 7

Ten days had passed since Jane had mailed that letter to Maura and she had yet to hear from her. She checked the mailbox every day, but there was never a letter from her girlfriend. Jane had wanted to call her, but she felt it was best to let Maura contact her instead. She didn't want to call with the chance that Maura's parents would answer and she'd have to explain who she was. With every day that passed, Jane became increasingly worried about Maura. Her mind drifted off to her parents finding out about her pregnancy and possible scenarios. She'd fall asleep thinking about Maura, which led to her dreaming about Maura. In some of her dreams, Maura wasn't pregnant and neither her ex nor Maura's ex existed and they lost their virginity to each other on a blanket underneath the boardwalk at night. There was no pain or discomfort involved and there were no worries. She felt Maura and Maura felt her and, in that brief moment, everything ceased to exist except for the two of them and the sound of waves in the distance. In other dreams, Maura was further along in her pregnancy and Jane held her as they discussed plans for Baby Isles and their future together. Each dream was more vivid than the last and after each dream Jane woke up expecting to feel Maura next to her—but every time, she was disappointed and she realized that she would always be disappointed.

With all of the benefits that came with having a girlfriend like Maura came the downside of being in a long distance relationship. Unlike when she was with Tiffany, her girl wouldn't be cheering her on at her games. There'd be no kissing behind the bleachers or making love on the football field after sneaking out in the middle of the night. There'd also be no spontaneous movie dates or lunch dates. The more Jane thought about it, the more she realized there'd be no spontaneity whatsoever. She wasn't sure when she'd see Maura again, but it wouldn't be without weeks of planning and saving for a train ticket or a bus ticket. Jane had a part-time job, but all of her money was being saved for a car. If she had a car, she'd be able to drive to New York to see Maura, but what would happen when she got there? The drive to New York was too long for a day trip and, even if it weren't, there was no way her parents would let her cross state lines by herself while she was new to driving. Would Mr. and Mrs. Isles let her spend the night or would she have to stay in a nearby hotel? That was yet another expense that Jane couldn't afford.

Jane may have had a girlfriend, but her heart was constantly breaking. Tiffany called her on a daily basis, asking for Jane's forgiveness. Now that her summer fling was over, Tiffany wanted the comfort that came with being Jane's girlfriend. 'I'm not yours anymore,' Jane constantly told her, but Tiffany was hell bent on getting her back and Jane knew it would only get worse once school started again.

All Jane wanted was Maura and she hoped that Maura wanted her just as much.

Her shift at the video store had been mind numbing and slow since her favorite co-worker wasn't there, but she was given a pleasant surprise when she arrived at home. There, on the kitchen table, between two advertisements was a letter from Maura. Before her parents or her brothers could ask any questions, Jane carefully grabbed the letter and rushed to her room after saying a quick hello to her family.

Although she was excited to hear from Maura, she slowly and carefully opened the envelope for fear of tearing the letter. When she unfolded the letter, a photograph fell out and landed face down on her bed. Should she read the letter first or look at the photograph? After less than a minute of deliberating, curiosity got the best of her and she looked at the photograph. There, in her own two hands, was a picture of her and Maura kissing. It wasn't the best angle and it wasn't exactly centered, but Maura had extended her arm during their kiss and taken the picture herself. _Maura looks so beautiful when she's being kissed_. _I wish I could kiss her more often. I wish I could kiss her everyday and every night._

With the picture now safely tucked into the envelope, Jane began to read the letter.

_August 14, 1992_

_Dear Jane,_

_My intentions were to write to you sooner, but I spent time with my ex-boyfriend and I didn't want to write to you until I had recuperated. I never gave you any details about him and I apologize for that. After our breakup, I had expected Blaine, my ex-boyfriend, to mature, but he is the same boy he has always been and I'm starting to wonder if I was desperate when I agreed to go on a date with him eighteen months ago. _

_He came over to my house to talk about the baby, but he is only claiming it is his because his masculinity would otherwise be questioned. If I had sex with another boy it meant he wasn't able to satisfy me. When we were alone, his first words to me were, "We need to get rid of this thing. I can't have my parents find out." He is embarrassed, Jane, but he has no reason to be. He could live his life as if nothing had happened and his friends would congratulate him for being the first out of his group to have sex. Meanwhile, I'd be looked down upon and be forced to change schools. _

_Blaine has a car and he offered to drive me to a clinic so I could terminate my pregnancy. He even offered to pay half of the fees, but he said it so casually as if he was offering to pay half of the check on a dinner date. It doesn't matter if he's paying half or paying the full amount, I'm not going through with it. I want my baby, Jane. I want Baby Isles and it's because of you. I don't expect you to co-parent with me, nor do I want Blaine to be in the baby's life, but thinking about you addressing him or her as Baby Isles has enabled me to have a bond with this baby and I'm not going to terminate my pregnancy or give him or her up. Baby Isles already means so much to me and I'm hoping he or she will be loved and accepted by my parents. _

_I had no intention of telling you this, but now that you're my girlfriend I feel as if I shouldn't keep any secrets from you. I told Blaine about us. I told him about our time together at the beach and he just laughed. He had the audacity to laugh about the first time I have ever experienced true happiness. I told him you are my girlfriend and I'm finally with someone who respects me and treats me the way I deserve to be treated and that's when started calling me a dyke and saying I needed to remember what a real man could do. He said he could 'fuck' me the right way and you'd never be able to. _

_Blaine isn't very strong, but he's stronger than me and I couldn't stop him when he pinned me down and spread my legs apart. My father was returning from a meeting when he entered our home and heard me crying. I'm not certain if Blaine was going to rape me or if he just wanted to scare me, but my father grabbed him and shoved him against the wall. Before leaving, he said to my father, "Your daughter is a whore." I'm not a whore, Jane, but I feel as if I'll be treated as such when word spreads about my baby. (Baby Isles is mine and not Blaine's). _

_My father held me, Jane. For the first time since I was a baby, my father actually held me. I cried into his shoulders as he stroked my hair and told me that everything was going to be okay. I didn't have the nerve to tell him about the baby, but I told him about you. I told him about meeting you on the beach and my birthday celebration. He knows about the connection we feel and he told me that's how he felt when he met my mother. When she arrived at home, I told her about you and she said you seem like a respectable young woman. They want to meet you, Jane. My parents want to meet my girlfriend! They told me you are more than welcome to spend the weekend with us and you could even stay in the guest bedroom. I know arrangements have to be made and you need your parents' permission but my mother and father offered to talk to them for you. I can be your friend from the beach if you aren't ready to tell them you have a girlfriend._

_In your letter, you asked me to describe my room, but I'm not going to. Instead I will hold on to the hope that you will soon visit me and you could see it then. There is one bit of information I will offer you and only one bit of information. Jane bear and Maura bear are on my bed right now and they're still kissing. Whenever I look at them, I think of you and the feeling I get whenever you kiss me. We'll kiss again when you visit. In fact, we'll kiss the moment I see you. I'll run into your arms like we're in a classic film. _

_I miss you, Jane, and you're always on my mind._

_Your devoted girlfriend,_

_Maura_

Jane clutched the letter to her chest. The letter was just two sheets of paper but it was Maura's paper and the words written on them were Maura's words. Her girlfriend missed her and was thinking about her. It was all the reassurance she needed to know that this relationship was worth it.

Unlike her letter, Maura's letter was filled with so much detail and Jane tried to process everything she had read. She hated Blaine. She had never met him, but she already hated him and she knew if she ever came across him she'd make him sorry for what he did to Maura. Thinking about Blaine soon made her mind shift to Baby Isles. Baby Isles was going to have a good mother and—hopefully—a good grandmother and grandfather, but where did Jane fit in? _Am I ready to co-parent? I know Maura doesn't expect me to, but I want to be there for her and for Baby Isles, but what if she can't keep Baby Isles?_

As she lied in bed that night, Jane continued to think about Maura and Baby Isles, but her mind soon shifted yet again. She was starting school the next morning, which meant seeing Tiffany almost on a daily basis. _I'm not going to give in to her. I have a better girlfriend now. _


	8. Chapter 8

Before her breakup with Tiffany, Jane had been looking forward to the first day of her junior year. She didn't foresee herself becoming any more popular or her classes becoming any easier, but her junior year was the last year she'd be at the same school as Tiffany, so she was determined to make the most of Tiffany's last year in high school. Although Tiffany wasn't going to apply to colleges outside of Boston, Jane knew it wouldn't be the same as seeing her everyday at school.

The more she thought about Tiffany, the more she realized her life had completely changed. Jane had a new girl—a _better _girl—and all she wanted was for her to be there. She imagined carrying Maura's books and walking her to class. They'd pass notes to each other and sit together at lunch while she hung on to every word that Maura spoke. Her thoughts were so consumed by Maura and Tiffany that she had failed to notice Frankie trying to get her attention.

It was Frankie's first day of high school and he was thrilled to be driven to school by a junior even if that particular junior was his sister and not one of the popular jocks that all freshmen guys wanted to befriend.

"Jane?" he asked as they sat in Jane's car. She had already parked and her parking permit was on display, but she had yet to take off her seatbelt. "Jane!"

"What?" Jane snapped at him.

"We've been parked here for five minutes and you haven't moved," Frankie brought to her attention. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me."

"Something is wrong with you," Frankie pointed out. "You've been acting weird since we were at the beach. Is it because of some guy? Just tell me who it is. We go to the same school now and I'm going to find out sooner or later."

"There's no guy," Jane insisted.

"Then what's going on?"

"Nothing!" Jane reiterated. "Nothing is going on. I'm fine."

"That might work on Ma and Pop, but it's not going to work on me. You're my sister, Jane, and I know when something is bothering you. You're doing good in sports and school, so I know it's not that. It has to be a guy."

Jane planted her face against the steering wheel. She wasn't ready to come out to her parents, but she hoped coming out to her brother would be the next best thing. Out her entire family, Frankie was whom she felt the closest to. She'd never actually tell him, but she considered him one of her friends and she knew that he looked up to her. "Frankie, I'm going to tell you something and you can't tell Ma or Pop and you can't tell Tommy. You can't tell anybody."

"Are you pregnant?" Frankie asked in disbelief. "Janie, you're pregnant, aren't you?"

"What? No!" Jane said as she socked him on the arm. "Why is that the first thing you assume?"

Frankie rubbed the part of his arm that Jane had hit. "Just a wild guess."

"Well, you guessed wrong."

"Then tell me."

Jane took a deep breath to prepare herself for what she was about to say. "Do you remember Tiffany? I think you met her once."

"Yeah. What about her?"

"She was my girlfriend," Jane blurted out.

"Yeah, I know," Frankie responded. He wondered why his sister was so worried about telling him she had a friend. "Ma was thrilled that you were hanging out with a girl."

Jane lightly smacked her hand to her forehead. This was going to be a lot harder than she thought. "No, Frankie. She's not a girl who was my friend. She was my girlfriend."

"As in dating and…other things?"

"Yes," Jane responded. "Tiffany and I were a couple and then she cheated on me and we broke up. I have a new girlfriend now and I'll tell you about her some other time and—"

"You don't need to tell me about her until you're ready," Frankie interrupted.

"Are you okay with this?"

Frankie fumbled with the straps on his backpack. "Jane, you're my sister and I'm going to…love…you no matter what. It doesn't matter to me if you like girls or guys or no one at all. You can tell me about your girlfriend when you're ready. For now, I just don't like Tiffany. I never liked her. I had class with her sister and I don't like her either."

Jane had wanted to tell Frankie all about Maura, but there were details she knew she'd have to omit. She wasn't ashamed of Maura in any way, but she was worried about his reaction to Maura being pregnant. She may not have told him everything, but she was now out to her brother and Jane felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The next obstacle she'd have to overcome was seeing Tiffany for the first time.

Jane walked down the halls with her head held high, but her mood changed when she saw Tiffany. Jane had tried to avoid her by walking at a hurried pace, but Tiffany caught up to her. "Jane!" Tiffany had gotten prettier over the summer—there was no denying it—but Jane wasn't about to be persuaded by her looks _or _her revealing clothing.

"Tiffany, we're through."

"What do you want?" Tiffany asked. "I've called you countless times to apologize. It was one mistake, Jane. You and I love each other and we can work through this."

Jane took a step back. "I have a girlfriend and, unlike you, I'm actually faithful."

"Who is she? Who is this girlfriend of yours…if you even have one?"

"She doesn't go to this school."

"What school does she go to?"

"She lives in New York." Jane was well aware of how her situation sounded to Tiffany. She had a girlfriend all of a sudden—a girlfriend who so happened to live in another state. It was a cop out commonly used, but unfortunately for Jane, it was her reality.

Tiffany had lost the ability to control her laughter. "Babe, you're so cute. You can stop lying about having a girlfriend."

"I _have_ a girlfriend," Jane insisted. "Her name is Maura. I can show you a picture of me kissing her."

"Where is it?"

"At home," Jane responded before realizing what she had said did nothing to prove her case.

"Of course the picture is at home," Tiffany giggled. She looked around to see if the halls were empty and when she could neither hear anyone nor see anyone nearby, she pulled Jane in by the belt loops on her jeans so there was not even an inch of space in between them. "You look so good in these jeans. Why don't we blow off first period and have some fun?"

Jane had wanted to free herself, but it was too late. Tiffany had already pressed her lips to hers. The kiss had lasted just a few seconds, but it was long enough to make Jane feel guilty. She hadn't wanted to kiss Tiffany and she hadn't enjoyed kissing her, but she felt a range of emotions that prevented her from pulling away.

Jane couldn't focus on anything for the rest of the morning. All she could think about was that kiss and how guilty she felt because of it. While waiting for third period to start, she pulled Maura's letter from her folder and the guilt panged her yet again.

_Why does she have to be so far away?_


	9. Chapter 9

Everyday for nearly three weeks, Jane read and reread the letter Maura had written her, but she couldn't get herself to reply. She had made an attempt the day that Tiffany kissed her, but after writing a single paragraph she ripped the paper into shreds and tossed it in the trashcan at school. What she had written seemed so trivial and unworthy of Maura. Her girlfriend had written to her about her ex-boyfriend nearly violating her and she still had the boldness to tell her parents that she had a girlfriend. Both Maura and her parents were opening their home to her and her mother had even called her a respectable young woman. _What a respectable young woman I am,_ Jane thought. _I let Tiffany kiss me and I haven't even told my parents about Maura._

The guilt had started to consume Jane once again. She had asked her guidance counselor to switch her schedule around so she could have a different lunch period and her counselor had managed to do so by only switching one of her classes and her lunch period. It was still a drastic measure, but Jane was willing to do just about anything to avoid Tiffany and it worked until Jane realized there was nothing she could do to avoid Tiffany at work.

Jane had an afternoon shift that day at the video store and she was already three hours into it when Tiffany walked in the door with two of the girls from her squad. Seeing Tiffany's friends put Jane at ease. Tiffany wasn't out to her friends, so Jane hoped that meant she wouldn't flirt with her.

"Hey, Jane," one of the girls casually said as she walked past the counter.

"Hey," Jane responded. When Tiffany didn't greet her, Jane nearly breathed a sigh of relief.

While her friends were scanning the new releases, Tiffany quickly set a note on the counter for Jane. Had Tiffany not been staring at her, Jane would have thrown it away, but she knew the more she prolonged reading it, the more agitated Tiffany would become.

"_Tonight under the bleachers?_" Jane read.

"You look so tense," Tiffany told her as Jane crumpled the note in her fist. "I know how to change that."

"I have a girlfriend," Jane said coldly.

"In New York," Tiffany scoffed. "You don't think she's spreading her legs for someone right now?"

Had she not been at work, Jane knew she would have lost her temper. "She isn't you, Tiffany, and I'm not going to listen to you talk about my girlfriend. I know relationships don't mean anything to you, but I respect my girlfriend and I'd never break her heart."

"One mistake, Jane," Tiffany stressed. "I made one mistake."

Jane looked around to make sure Tiffany's friends were preoccupied. "You had sex with another girl. That's a _big _mistake, but it's a mistake I'm glad you made. Had you not cheated on me, I wouldn't have broken up with you and I wouldn't have Maura."

Before Tiffany could respond, her friends joined them at the counter with a couple of videos in hand. They were some generic teen comedies that Jane refused to watch, but she wasn't surprised that Tiffany and her friends were going to watch them.

Jane completed their transaction as quickly as she could so Tiffany and her friends would leave. Tiffany's friends were completely clueless as to what happened between her and Jane and Jane knew Tiffany wanted to keep it that way.

"You have girls all over you," Jane's co-worker teased after Tiffany and had left.

Jane had never thought of herself as the type who'd have two girls after her, so she couldn't stop smiling after hearing his comment. "Yeah." She then remembered that one of these girls was her cheating ex-girlfriend and one was her faithful, current girlfriend. "I mean, no. I can't stand Tiffany."

Jane's co-worker, Zack, was one of the few people who knew about Jane's sexuality and her situation with Tiffany and Maura. Zack was eighteen and a college student, so Jane felt as if she had nothing to lose by telling him. He had no ties to her high school peers and, even if he did, Jane knew he wouldn't 'out' her. Zack had a steady girlfriend and he was good to her, as good as she wanted to be to Maura.

"Tiffany wanted me to meet her under the bleachers tonight," Jane informed him. "I don't know why she wants me back, but the fact that she wants me to cheat on my girlfriend after she, herself, cheated shows me how little she values relationships."

"She wants you back because you're a good girlfriend and she realized what she lost," Zach pointed out. "You're a catch, Jane. You're a little scrawny and you whine a lot and—"

"_Okay_, Zach!" Jane interrupted.

"Let me finish. Yes, you're scrawny and you whine a lot and you—"

"Is this going anywhere?" Jane interrupted yet again.

"Well, it isn't now," Zack smirked. "This Maura, what does she have that Tiffany doesn't have?"

"I don't know," Jane shrugged. "You know I'm bad at this. Can we talk about something else?"

"Maura versus Tiffany," Zack commanded. "Go."

"Maura is…nice."

"Nice?"

"She's nice," Jane reiterated. "Maura is a nice girl and I'm not used to that. I only knew her for a couple days before I asked her to be my girlfriend and, in that time, she treated me better than Tiffany ever did. When she kisses me, it's because she wants to and not because she wants it to lead to something else. I haven't talked to her in three weeks, though, because I still feel guilty about Tiffany kissing me. I just worry about not having what it takes."

Zack looked as if he wanted to knock some sense into her. "Talk to her!"

"I'll write to her tonight," Jane insisted.

"Don't write to her, call her! You're bitching out, Jane. Take your ten minute break, go to the pay phone outside, and call her."

Zack saw Jane as the little sister he never had and Jane was well aware that he had no problems with giving her a smack upside the head, so she heeded his advice and called Maura.

Maura's address and phone number were written on a piece of paper that Jane kept securely in her wallet. As she dialed the number, she hoped no one would answer. If nobody answered, that meant she'd buy herself some more time to tell Maura what had happened with Tiffany.

"Isles Residence."

"Hi," Jane nearly squeaked. "Can I talk to Maura?"

"This is Maura," she responded in the same tone of voice someone would use while having a formal phone conversation.

"It's me," Jane said nervously. "Your girlfriend."

"I wasn't sure I still had a girlfriend."

"Maura—"

"No," Maura interrupted. "You don't get to do this to me, Jane. You don't get to ask me to be your girlfriend and then go weeks without calling me or writing to me. I'm not asking for much. A five-minute phone call every couple of days would suffice."

Jane became defensive. "You could have called me, too. It works both ways, Maura."

"I revealed something to you," Maura reminded her. "In a letter, I revealed that my ex-boyfriend and the father of my baby tried to attack me. You're my girlfriend, Jane, and I was expecting you to be there for me."

"Tiffany kissed me," Jane confessed. "Tiffany kissed me and I felt so guilty for allowing it to happen and that's why I haven't contacted you. It was a crappy thing to do and I should have just told you, but I thought it'd break your heart. It didn't dawn on me that I was doing more damage by not telling you. I'm sorry, Maura. I'm sorry about everything you've gone through and I'm sorry that I haven't been there. I know you deserve better than me, but I'll do anything to make it up to you."

"Visit me this weekend," Maura insisted. " You can make it up to me by coming to New York. I need to see you, Jane. I've been feeling sick every morning and I don't know how much longer I can hide this from my parents. I'll be punished when they find out about the baby and I'd like to see my girlfriend while I still can."

"I'll visit you," Jane promised. "Nothing or nobody is going to keep me from seeing you this weekend."

Jane wasn't sure how she was going to break the news to her parents, but she had some extra cash in her wallet and she was going to use it on a train ticket to New York to see Maura.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Here's the first of a few Jane and Maura reunion chapters. :)**

* * *

Spending the weekend with Maura had become Jane's priority. With only a few days to buy her ticket and pack, Jane had little time to think of a lie to tell her parents, so she simply asked if she could spend the weekend with a friend from New York that she had met when they went on vacation. She still didn't have the nerve to tell them Maura was her girlfriend not only because she feared their reaction to her being gay but she knew even if they were okay with her having a girlfriend they'd never let them spend an entire weekend together.

Fortunately for Jane, Maura had told her parents all about Jane's situation so when Mrs. Isles talked to Mrs. Rizzoli she didn't mention a word about Jane and Maura being a couple. Rather, Constance Isles spoke of the girls as if they had become best friends and Angela Rizzoli was thrilled that Jane had made a new girl friend. After Constance promised that the girls would never be home unsupervised and they wouldn't be roaming the streets of New York late at night, Jane was given permission to visit Maura.

When school ended on Friday afternoon, Jane drove home, picked up her belongings, and waited for her mom to drive her to the station. Her mother gave her the obligatory speech about being respectful and minding her manners, but Jane was too excited about seeing Maura to pay attention to anything her mother said other than 'I'll pick you up at the station on Sunday night.'

The four-hour train ride seemed to last an eternity, but Jane had brought some reading material to keep herself occupied. While at the bookstore a couple days ago, she picked up a copy of a book about pregnancy and caring for a newborn. There were numerous books written on the subject, so Jane picked up the same book she saw a woman grab from the shelves and hand to a young, expectant mother. The young woman looked as if she could be a college student and she wondered if she was in a situation similar to Maura's until she saw the ring on her finger. _She's married_, Jane realized. _Her baby is probably considered a blessing and she probably told her parents in some creative way and they went out to dinner afterward to celebrate. _Jane wanted the same for Maura and Baby Isles, but she realized she and Maura were probably the only two people who wanted Maura's baby. The baby's father wasn't claiming him or her and she had a feeling Maura's parents would be ashamed.

While reading the book on the train, people gave Jane some of the most pitiful looks she had ever seen and it dawned on her that Maura would be the recipient of these looks when she started to show. "I'm not pregnant, okay?" Jane snapped at a nearby passenger who had been staring at her. "My girlfriend is and you're lucky she's not here because if you passed judgment on her the way you have on me, I'd make you sorry you even got on this train to begin with." After her confrontation with the nearby passenger, Jane was finally left in peace for the duration of the train ride.

When she arrived in New York, Jane watched in awe at all of the people coming and going. Some were commuting from work, others were visiting for the weekend and greeting loved ones. In the hustle and bustle, she had a difficult time finding Maura and she began to wonder if Maura had given up on her. _No, not my Maura, _Jane told herself. _Maura would never do that to me._

"Jane!" she heard someone shout. "Jane!"

She looked past a crowd of people and noticed her girlfriend quickly walking toward her. Maura looked different from who she was at the beach, but it was a welcome change for Jane. Maura was far more polished but what mattered to Jane was that Maura was in a better mood than she was at the beach.

Jane held out her arms, but Maura wanted more than just a hug. She leapt into Jane's arms and nearly knocked her over in the process. Jane had been hesitant about kissing Maura at the station, but Maura paid no mind to who might have been watching them. With her arms and legs firmly wrapped around her girlfriend, Maura kissed Jane for the first time in over a month. The kiss was chaste and lasted only a few seconds, but it was exactly what Jane needed.

"I guess you're feeling okay," Jane stated while she held tight to Maura. "No nausea?"

"No," Maura shook her head. "I had morning sickness, but the nausea subsided before my school day began."

Jane rubbed her nose to Maura's. "I missed kissing you and holding you."

"You've never held me like this," Maura pointed out. "I like it and I'd have kissed you more passionately but my parents are watching us right now."

Jane worriedly looked around. "They're watching us? Maura, my hands are gripping your behind and we were kissing."

"You're my girlfriend," Maura reminded Jane as she kissed her on the cheek. "They know we kiss and they know we hold each other, but I told them that you respect me and you have never suggested that we do anything more than kissing. Our relationship is new and we aren't ready to take the next step. I missed you, Jane, and all that matters to me is you're here. I was having my doubts."

"I promised you I'd be here and I—"

"Yes, but you also promised that you'd—nevermind."

Jane carefully loosened her grip on Maura so she'd be able to put her feet on the ground. She knew exactly what Maura was talking about and the guilt returned to her all over again. "You and I have a lot to talk about."

"We need to talk about Blaine…and…Tiffany." Jane could have sworn she saw her girlfriend cringe when she said her name. "But we can talk about them tonight. I'm sorry I didn't show up alone, but my parents want to take you out to dinner and get to know you. After dinner, we can talk and do whatever we'd like…within reason."

"I promise to be on my best behavior if you promise to be on yours," Jane said as she grabbed Maura's hand.

It was the first time in Jane's young life that she'd be introduced as someone's girlfriend and, although they were only going out to dinner, Jane wanted to make sure Mr. and Mrs. Isles knew that their daughter already meant the world to her.


End file.
